Dear Diary,

I caught a little god today running through the back yard and I grabbed it by the foot and I swung it against a rock and its skull cracked, but Momma saw me and wouldn't let me eat its brains because they fetch 5000 calories in the swindler's market, she said.

She tried to swap me my little god for a chocolate bar but chocolate is for babies and I said no. Fine, she says, two chocolates, and I said three and then she smacked me on the head and took my little god! It's not fair. I hate her! I'll hate her forever! I hate the swindler's market and I'm never going to talk to her again, ever.