Lauren Deposed

by Edd

4.

Lauren, Queen of the Zombies, is in a support group with Penelope, the Vampire Queen, and Tara, the Werewolf Alpha Female. They call it a book group, but honestly they’re just there to commiserate with each other and trade recipes. Recipes for dealing with soulless monsters, recipes for escaping the clutches of self-appointed heroes. Recipes for steak tartare.

She thinks that Tara is really quite nice. Penny’s the one they both agree is a bit of a bitch, which Tara finds inordinately funny.

5.

Zombies are good at congregating. Lauren was a PTA president in a former life, and could never get everybody on the same page. The living dead, though, they’ll follow her anywhere. She’s organized a Zombie Pride Parade, complete with a banner for Brian and Parker to carry as they lead the way.

She expects her sons to balk. They’re both a bit shy, and not too keen to associate with zombies. She’s surprised, then, when they eagerly participate. “Let’s walk past the sporting goods store,” they say, and, “Isn’t there a gun store near there?”

6.

They hide. They run and hide again. Ruthless gangs of zombie-hunters pass their alley, their doorway, their basement.

Lauren is just happy that she and her boys have escaped the ethnic cleansing. She won’t miss the responsibilities of queenship, light as they were. It breaks her heart to lose her husband, though. Her last memory is of him snapping at grasping hands that bear him to the street. Still, in a way, she almost feels as if she’d lost him already.

She suspects he’d only loved her for her nutritional value.