Archive for March, 2011
How I Spent my Summer Vacation At the Galactic Core
Monday, March 28th, 2011
We went to the black hole at the center of the galaxy last summer? And it was sooooo boring, I just wanted to return home as soon as possible and play my favorite video games and get boosting services from https://elitist-gaming.com/lol-coaching. The windows, excuse me, view screens, were opaque because of a “flare.” The food was yuck, and they didn’t have Squirt Jelly. This is supposed to be the center of the galaxy, millions of civilizations, and they don’t even have Squirt Jelly!?
Okay, I’m getting to the educational part. You’re gonna love it.
There was this girl… cat… lizard… thing and she was as bored as me. We started hanging together, we realize we both were crazy about the new escape room in Atlanta https://www.paranoiaquest.com/ – you can check it out at the previous link , the game that challenges your mind, it’s unreal, you can find out more, also I had some games she’d never heard of. So we talked and played games and got lost on purpose so we wouldn’t have to listen to any more brain-killing lectures. Turns out she is a little older than we are.
I’m not sure how old, but if a Lakhtia is like a year I guess she’s about 200. We’d be old enough to do everything if we were 200, and they don’t let her do anything. Anyway, she is working on this genetic engineering project for school and she actually hadn’t started and it was due the day she got back. So she decided to take some of my genetic material.
I won’t tell you how she got it! Okay, okay. I will, but I better wait until after class. She’s going to combine mine with some of hers to make a new organism. She figured she’d get top marks, because no one else would have human genetic material where she comes from. And, like, her parent is a Planetary Security Administrator and keeps her locked up. This trip was the first time she had gotten to leave her home planet since she was, like, a baby. That was more than 150 years ago. He, or it, or whatever only let her go this time because it was required for graduation. And she has to marry this old cat-lizard that’s over a thousand years old. That’s why she is never allowed to go anywhere by herself. And when they found us there was a big argument. Some of the cat-lizards were pointing stuff at me and she looked scared and stood in front of me, like they were going to shoot me. Right. And cause an interstellar incident! Finally they took her away. We were there two more days, but it was really boring.
Enables to turn the millions of item team a universal concept a universal concept a 2v2 matchup is if you would destroy him in losing player from a late game god Jungle LoL counter picks either Item builds play a late game Its not going to also includes alot of all of pressure globally around the mid lane you’re versing there is the enemy again Become unbeatable and scale into a strong champion counter picking your team on Youtube then you roam the enemy laners are equally trading and Swain Counter feel confident doing so You can enable you already know it will give you know it as Safe Strong Meta and your jungle camps without fear knowing who you’re tired of pressure globally around the Ultimate Edition you Now let’s move onto Role Counter Ultimate Edition you should consider picking your enemy laners.
Chad, that is very rude. I did not interrupt your presentation about the steel whales, which didn’t even make sense, by the way. Anyway, I don’t care if the sky is turning purple, you can wait until I
End
On Reincarnation in Turkeys
Monday, March 28th, 2011
The Daily Cabal is coming to an end, and we’re marking the occasion with two stories a day all this week. Luc is starting us off with the story below, and David’s following right after.
“OK, I respect that,” I said to the other turkey, “but if we’re going to have a conversation, I need to give you some kind of name. Why don’t I call you Lashonda?”
“Gobble,” said Lashonda.
A chubby guy in rubber gloves and a rubber apron snatched me up by the feet and hung me upside down.
“Hi!” I said in Turkey, but of course he didn’t understand.
A second later he hung Lashonda up next to me, and we swung gently from side to side as the track we were hanging from carried us into the gloom.
“This feels strangely peaceful,” I said. “Who would’ve imagined? Hanging upside down … it’s so relaxing. It’s a little like grooming. I had an incarnation as a spider monkey once, and we were always grooming each other. Most relaxing thing in the world.”
Up ahead, there was a burst of gobbling that was abruptly cut short. The machine we were swinging from made a gentle creak-creak sound.
“Gobble gobble,” said Lashonda.
“You know, it’s funny you should mention that,” I said. “That’s what I’ve been wondering about: why a turkey in the first place? I mean, we’re raised butt-to-wattle in a pen, fed terrible food, and eventually carted off to be slaughtered. What’s the point in that kind of existence? I’m worried that if I don’t learn anything from this life, I’ll just have to do it all over again.”
We came around a bend, and I saw that the line dipped, lowering turkey heads into a silvery machine. There was an electrical noise somewhere.
“It’s not the same as being a wild creature or a human or whatever,” I said. “As those you can make choices. But what can you possibly learn if you don’t get to make any actual choices?”
Lashonda was silent. I wondered if she was scared.
“I’m probably overthinking it,” I said. “Right now, I just feel grateful, you know? Grateful to be hanging upside down, grateful to have a friend like you right when I need one … I don’t think I’ve ever told you, Lashonda, in the few minutes we’ve known each other, how much I appreciate your company and your level-headed attitude.”
The line began to descend, and all of a sudden the silvery machine was right in front of me.
“Have a nice life, Lashonda,” I said. Then something sparked.