Archive for the ‘David Kopaska-Merkel’ Category
Dial “R” for Robot
Thursday, November 5th, 2009
“Perfect present for Junior.” A man wearing a bedraggled Santa suit stood behind a table on the sidewalk. A row of bright plastic phones lined the front of the table.
“How’d you know I have a son?”
“You do, don’t you?” the man asked, opening his eyes wide.
Martyn glanced down to avoid the man’s eyes, and was arrested by the bizarre dials. A rotary phone dial, but with the entire alphabet in small letters, instead of groups of numbers. Above: a small display screen, like on a cell phone.
“Try it.”
“OK.” Martyn dragged the dial around, let go. It spun quickly, stopped abruptly. The display showed “S is for Sale.”
—
Chuck tore open his last present. Martyn had almost forgotten the weird telephone.
“Turn the dial,” he said, at Chuck’s evident frustration. When the dial stopped moving, the display lit up with “B is for Bee.” Clarice raised an eyebrow.
“I don’t know. For some reason it seemed cooler when I bought it.” Martyn was distracted by a deep rumble, which quickly grew loud enough to shake the house. He ran out the door and looked around. It was so loud…. Then Mrs. Robinson across the street raised a trembling arm, pointing at his roof. He whirled and looked up. A black and yellow striped bee perched on the roof. It was nearly the size of the house. The breeze he was feeling came entirely from the bee’s idling wings.
He ran back in, slammed the door, and took his wife and son to the cellar.
“What?!” she demanded, jerking out of his arms and crossing hers under her breasts.
“Twistr? Twister?” Chuck asked.
“It’s OK, Kid,” Martyn said. “You have some things to play with while we’re down here.” He tossed two plastic balls past his son, who ran shrieking after them.
He leaned over to Clarice’s ear, which was hot with anger. “The rumble is a giant bee, perched on the roof. It’s as big as the house. Don’t…” But she was running past him, up the stairs, and out the door. “Clarice!” He was right behind her, caught up when she stood open-mouthed in the yard, hair blown back by the breeze from the bee.
“It was true!” she breathed.
The wings blurred and the bee took off, followed or chased by two news copters. They disappeared behind the Merton’s big oak just before Chuck emerged from the house.
“Hey Dad! R is for robot!”
end
King Karl
Thursday, October 22nd, 2009
Karl pulled one drawer clean out. Bolts, a small screwdriver, wing nuts that should have been in the wing nut drawer, a ball bearing, and some tacks left over from paneling the den hit the floor. The ball bearing rolled under Madge’s Pinto. Something flashed from the empty slot where the drawer had been.
Karl set the drawer on the floor and bent down, hands on thighs, to peer into the hole. He moved a little to one side and again saw a flash. Could it be a broken piece of mirror? He reached in. His hand touched a cold smooth plane. Aha, he thought: it’s a mirror or piece of glass. Before he even finished the thought, he began to feel quite peculiar. His skin buzzed like the time he stuck his finger in the electrical outlet, then he was falling fast and headfirst, but after a moment of panic (during which he shut his eyes) he seemed to be at rest, on his feet, and unharmed. He opened his eyes.
Something stood or crouched in front of him. Its face reminded him of a fish, although the texture of its skin said lobster, and tufts of tendrils around its mouth called to mind a sea anemone. The body gave a similarly chimeric impression; it had elements of arthropod, mammal, and reptile, although in places the shapes and textures were more reminiscent of the inorganic. Karl laughed weakly.
“This sculpture is the most far out I’ve ever seen!” he said, looking around for the artist.
The thing spoke, its voice a bubbling hiss. Karl screamed and turned to run, only to discover another of the creatures right behind him. It seized his arms and, after a while, he stopped screaming.
“You are most honored,” it burbled. “You are the human chosen to rule the earthly portion of the coming Eternal Empire. All others of your ilk will serve as your abject slaves. Rejoice!”
“Rule? Me? Empire?” Patiently it was explained again. And again. It finally sank in. He wiped drool off his chin. Then he pumped his fist in the air.
“Yes! Karl Johnson will rule the WOOOORLD!!”
“Excuse me, Karl Johnson? Karl Johnson?” The thing let go of his arms.
“That’s my name, don’t wear it out. Let’s see…Emperor Karl Johnson? No. Potentate Karl … what?”
“Sorry, we were looking for Carl Sandstroem.”
“Oh, uh, his house is the white one on the corner.”
end