Archive for the ‘David Kopaska-Merkel’ Category
Menage à Trois
Tuesday, December 4th, 2007
***Warning to readers: explicit sexual situations.***
“I am sick and tired,” Soeren shouted, “of your damn dead sister watching us screw!”
Lorna wriggled, and smiled awkwardly. “But she’s my twin. We always do everything together. Remember, when she was still alive…?” She caught Soeren’s wrist and tried to pull him down, but he jerked his arm away. Then he scrambled off the bed and stomped out of the room. Lorna scowled at Laura, who appeared to be masturbating about 3 feet in the air in front of the closet. Ectoplasm was so close to transparent that details were very hard to see. Laura seemed to smile and shrugged.
“Don’t give me that,” Lorna hissed, jumping out of bed and pulling on a T-shirt to confront her sister’s shade. “I shared him with you when you were alive, but he’s mine now.”
Laura stood up and rubbed her insubstantial hands slowly down her flanks. Then her expression changed, and she rushed at Lorna with arms outstretched and mouth open wide. Lorna felt a sudden chill and whirled around, but Laura was nowhere to be seen.
Lorna caught up with Soeren at the library. “What about here?” she whispered, “I don’t think she can find us here.” Over Soeren’s shoulder she saw a black-clad librarian frowning at her and holding a finger to her lips.
“Are you crazy!?” he whispered back, “we can’t be quiet enough. What about the park?”
Lorna sighed. “I don’t know if that will work either.” Laura was perched on top of one of the old card files, waving at her.
Sure enough, wherever they found for sex, Laura was there. Soeren just could not keep his mind on task, with his girlfriend’s dead twin looking on.
“I just don’t get it,” Lorna said. “You were eager to have us together when we were both alive.”
“That was different. She was thinking about sex, then. Now she almost seems to be trying to tell me something.”
Lorna could not wait for an opportunity to confront Laura alone. “You want him to think I killed you,” she whispered. “I can’t believe you would do that to me!
“Anyway, bungee jumping was YOUR idea. You made a big deal about which bungee you got…omg! That was meant for ME and you screwed up.
“Were you that jealous?”
The end
Aliens Wrecked My Bike
Wednesday, November 21st, 2007
I didn’t see the wall. It was late, I was tired, and it was raining. I hit it hard, and it knocked me out. I came to with blood in my mouth and a pounding headache. My frame was bent and spokes stuck out from the front wheel like a punk haircut. Who builds a wall across the road in the middle of the night?! It hadn’t been there after school.
Some of the bricks had been knocked out of the wall and I picked one up. I’m sorry, I screamed. The brick was hard but warm, with short fur, and it gave a little scared-puppy squirm. Then the whole wall came apart and all of the bricks were running for the woods, like beetles under a log when you pick it up. In a few moments the only visible evidence of the wall was my wrecked bike.
*
The next morning I had to walk. I looked everywhere, but I didn’t see the aliens. At school no one said they’d seen any weird walls or furry bricks. I wasn’t going to ask! Who wants to look crazy?
Saturday I did some exploring in the woods with my beagle, Roger. Roger sniffed around a lot, and he dug a pretty deep hole under an oak tree. Squirrels were dropping acorns everywhere. The acorns kept hitting us, but I couldn’t see the squirrels. Every time an acorn hit Roger, he yelped. It seemed like the squirrels were aiming at us. I’ve heard they do that. Anyway, it was creeping me out, so we left.
Did you know there are hundreds of kinds of oak trees, but only a couple of kinds of squirrels? I broadened my search, and you know what? Weird things happen all the time. I don’t know if any of them are caused by the little furry aliens.
*
We’re getting new neighbors soon, and maybe they have a kid. I hope so. I haven’t seen them yet, but they’re building a brick house. It’s going up fast, and they only cut down the trees they had to, so it’s like in the woods already, which is cool if there aren’t too many squirrels. I’ll go over soon and introduce myself.
I need some help: those aliens owe me a bike.