Archive for the ‘Edd Vick’ Category
Myth Zoo Written by Allie Todd age 8
Monday, January 10th, 2011
Starting this week, the Daily Cabal will be shifting to a slightly less than daily schedule, with stories guaranteed on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, and the possibility of occasional stories thrown in a Tuesday or Thursday for special occasions or when the whim takes us.
Think of us as the every-other-daily-cabal…
Papa and mama took Lara and me to the Zoo today. We saw the harpies and the bigfoots and the poor old mermaid and the scary dragons that live under the hippo pool. We looked up at the dragons from underneath through a glass bottom. They coiled and swam and looked back at us in a hungry way. They’ don’t want meat said mama. They just hate us all for putting them here. She wasn’t so happy as we were to be at the zoo.
We ate at Crunchy Burger on the way home and it’s the first time Lara didn’t whine for sweet stuff. She ate her hamburger and tried to sneak parts of mine. I’m a dragon she said, and I need meat. Mama and papa told her that wasn’t funny so I didn’t play along. She kept it up the rest of the way home, putting her hand out the window into the breeze and saying she was flying until mama said to stop that she was getting a headache.
When we got home Lara took me away upstairs and said we’re going to play at dragons and treasure. She went and got all of mama’s jewelry and put it on the bunk bed in our room and said this is my cave. She said Allie you are a brave night and mother will be the lure to catch you.
We played and played. I had the most funnest time in almost ever, because Lara doesn’t play with me much. She says I’m a good night which is funny because I’m not sleepy.
She says soon mama will wonder where her stuff is. When I say she could get in trouble she just laughs. She says if I play really well she’ll show me how she makes the smoke come out of her mouth.
Daft Tales
Tuesday, December 28th, 2010
“Rumpelstiltskin. Final answer.”
When the Princess married the pirate Bluebeard, he warned her never ever to open a certain door. And she didn’t.
“A Kevlar sock?” said Achilles. “Cool!”
Witches proving to be a more durable building material than gingerbread, Hansel and Gretel were soon millionaire contractors with ties to the Mafia.
“My, what a big schlong you have, Grandmother,” Red Riding Hood said, triggering the proofreader’s seizure.
When Paul Bunyan was born, he weighed a hundred pounds. Oh, his poor, poor mother.
“Go ahead,” said Lot to his wife. “Look back. See if I care.” So of course she didn’t.
That night, the lion caught the soon-to-be-late mouse sticking thorns into the paws of the rest of his pride.
“I’m going to have to let all of you go. There are elves willing to work cheaper in a sweatshop overseas.”
The princess tossed; the princess turned. Finally she rolled off the soaring stack of mattresses and broke her neck.
“Here is my curse. On her eighteenth birthday she will prick her finger on an iPod headphone jack and die.”
And when the cat said, “A cat may look upon a king,” he was burned as a witch’s familiar.
“First wish, bring me every other item or being capable of granting wishes, with complete instructions.”
To pass the Sirens, Odysseus was tied to the mast while his men put melted beeswax in their ears. After a trip to the emergency room, his men were treated and released.
“Frogs legs! We eat tonight,” said the princess.
When Babe the Blue Ox was born, his mother exploded.
Someone’s been sleeping in my bed. And she tasted just right.
He wasn’t even a very pretty swan.