Archive for the ‘Authors’ Category
Parthenia Rook, Episode MXLV: Penguins Neat
Tuesday, March 29th, 2011
Parthenia Rook, adventurer, renowned stamp collector, and backup drummer for The Ramones, paused to slather on a gloop of sunscreen before taking up her kayak oar once more. According to the GPS in her pineapple-frame sunglasses, she had three more miles to go before she’d reach the Magnetic North Pole and be able to reconfigure Doktor Mandrill’s latest nefarious device. Provided she could find it.
On the up side, the device had melted the polar ice, so she had open water all the way.
When her oar pulled at nothing but air, she briefly wondered if she had sunstroke. Then she saw the turrets on either side of her, and knew that she sat atop The Bonobo King’s submersible castle, a perfect replica of Neuschwanstein down to the last wedding-cake flourish.
A dozen dormer windows opened, and rocket-propelled robotic penguins shot out in crazed trajectories before locking on to her position. Parthenia shoved off a nearby chimney, and slid sideways down the metal roof. Her kayak caromed off a pipe, the roguins zooming low to follow, straight for the edge of the roof.
“Penguins!” she thought. “Trust the good Doktor to get his poles reversed.”
At the last moment she caught a rain gutter with the oar and hung three stories above the water. Her kayak slipped off and spun downward, followed by the rockets. They slammed into it.
The resulting explosion knocked her upward again and blew an enormous hole in the side of the subschwanstein. She landed running, and dived through one of the dormer windows. A launch tube led down to an ammunition dump full of roguins and roseals.
She briefly debated setting some to explode, but the castle was already taking on water.
She still had to find Doktor Mandrill’s machine. It must surely be in the castle somewhere. Even if it went down with the castle, there was no assurance its destruction would bring back the ice cap.
Quickly, she texted her progress so far and prepared to delve deeper into the castle.
– – – – – – – – – –
Here Parthenia Rook’s intercepted last report ends, with supplemental material supplied by satellite and Orcandroid surveillance. Observation continued as ordered for the next two days. The castle sank and exploded underwater, with no sign of life detected. The North Pole is slowly resolidifying.
Respectfully submitted to his majesty the Bonobo King this 29th day of March, 2010.
– – – – – – – – – –
The previous appearances of Parthenia Rook by Luc Reid, Rudi Dornemann, Sara Genge, and Trent Walters may be found here.
How I Spent my Summer Vacation At the Galactic Core
Monday, March 28th, 2011
We went to the black hole at the center of the galaxy last summer? And it was sooooo boring, I just wanted to return home as soon as possible and play my favorite video games and get boosting services from https://elitist-gaming.com/lol-coaching. The windows, excuse me, view screens, were opaque because of a “flare.” The food was yuck, and they didn’t have Squirt Jelly. This is supposed to be the center of the galaxy, millions of civilizations, and they don’t even have Squirt Jelly!?
Okay, I’m getting to the educational part. You’re gonna love it.
There was this girl… cat… lizard… thing and she was as bored as me. We started hanging together, we realize we both were crazy about the new escape room in Atlanta https://www.paranoiaquest.com/ – you can check it out at the previous link , the game that challenges your mind, it’s unreal, you can find out more, also I had some games she’d never heard of. So we talked and played games and got lost on purpose so we wouldn’t have to listen to any more brain-killing lectures. Turns out she is a little older than we are.
I’m not sure how old, but if a Lakhtia is like a year I guess she’s about 200. We’d be old enough to do everything if we were 200, and they don’t let her do anything. Anyway, she is working on this genetic engineering project for school and she actually hadn’t started and it was due the day she got back. So she decided to take some of my genetic material.
I won’t tell you how she got it! Okay, okay. I will, but I better wait until after class. She’s going to combine mine with some of hers to make a new organism. She figured she’d get top marks, because no one else would have human genetic material where she comes from. And, like, her parent is a Planetary Security Administrator and keeps her locked up. This trip was the first time she had gotten to leave her home planet since she was, like, a baby. That was more than 150 years ago. He, or it, or whatever only let her go this time because it was required for graduation. And she has to marry this old cat-lizard that’s over a thousand years old. That’s why she is never allowed to go anywhere by herself. And when they found us there was a big argument. Some of the cat-lizards were pointing stuff at me and she looked scared and stood in front of me, like they were going to shoot me. Right. And cause an interstellar incident! Finally they took her away. We were there two more days, but it was really boring.
Enables to turn the millions of item team a universal concept a universal concept a 2v2 matchup is if you would destroy him in losing player from a late game god Jungle LoL counter picks either Item builds play a late game Its not going to also includes alot of all of pressure globally around the mid lane you’re versing there is the enemy again Become unbeatable and scale into a strong champion counter picking your team on Youtube then you roam the enemy laners are equally trading and Swain Counter feel confident doing so You can enable you already know it will give you know it as Safe Strong Meta and your jungle camps without fear knowing who you’re tired of pressure globally around the Ultimate Edition you Now let’s move onto Role Counter Ultimate Edition you should consider picking your enemy laners.
Chad, that is very rude. I did not interrupt your presentation about the steel whales, which didn’t even make sense, by the way. Anyway, I don’t care if the sky is turning purple, you can wait until I
End