Archive for the ‘Sara Genge’ Category
Acute Leg Sorrow: A Case Report
Wednesday, October 3rd, 2007
Acute Leg Sorrow: A Case Report.
Mrs M., a forty-five year old woman, reported to the Emergency Room with acute leg sorrow in her lower left extremity.
The examination revealed redness and emotional stasis in the leg, as well as pulsating anguish and some financial distress. The patient was not allergic to any medication, had no previous conditions and didn’t remember any leg trauma in the previous months.
Basic tests showed low platelets and self-esteem, left-leaning leukocytes and high introspection/physical exercise ratio. The patient didn’t report any addictions or compulsions, although she did admit to marital stress (football and beer related) and conjugal sexual dysfunction.
A number of treatments were proposed, including lymbic transmapheresis, Viagra treatment for the husband and divorce (with or without heterosexual-to-homosexual, sexual orientation reassignment).
Mrs M. wasn’t amenable to any of these options. Resistance to treatment in patients with organ sadness has been amply described in Medical Literature, and although more conservative treatments were suggested and Mrs M. was informed that she had to do something to appease her limb, eventually, the patient elected to sign a voluntary release form and leave Hospital, talking her grieving leg with her.
Pelican Boy
Thursday, September 27th, 2007
Come and see, ladies and gents, come and see, the one and only, the wonderful, the fantaaastic Pelican Boy!
You may think you’ve seen it all, having crossed the Galaxy. You may think nothing can surprise you, after riding the novas, but this, Mr. and Mrs. Alien, my young alienettes, is stranger than quantum physics. Don’t pass it up. The Eiffel Tower is swell, but this, my purple friends, is the dark side of Old Terra. Come and see, come and see: the Human Freak Show!
Pelican Boy started slow, watching the tip grow. He displayed the silver balls, about the size of golf balls and juggled them around as a warm-up. Ostentatiously, he slipped one into his mouth and directed it to the pouch of flesh that Nature had given him as his livelihood. The purplies gasped when they saw his neck bulge.
He smiled; this town was no doniker. The clems were positively bursting to hand over their platinum. Pelican Boy kept the balls going up and down, swallowing them and bringing them back up, showing the audience what he could do with his pelican neck. After fifteen balls, he could hardly breathe, but the marks were ecstatic. There was no doubt they’d shell out to see the whole show.
He ignored their purple faces, which always made him squeamish and their gasps of sympathy, and strained his pouch to the max. The aliens were horrified, and loving it. Human degradation, that’s what they’d crossed the galaxy to see.
Come closer, ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you a secret. Mr. and Mrs. Alien, young Mss. Alien, alienboy and alienette, this is not for the faint of heart. What you’ll see today, will curdle your blood. Please sign the discharge before you come on in.
Come on, come on, don’t push. There’s show enough for everyone.
Dear aliens, dear friends, you won’t see this in your home planet. This, my friends, is not tolerated in your advanced civilizations. Watch the Pelican Boy swallow nails and bring them back up!
Could we cure him, ladies, gents? Could we snip away his pouch and give him a normal life? Of course we can’t: this is showbiz! Come, ladies and gents, come watch the Human Freak Show!