Plugs

Kat Beyer’s Cabal story “A Change In Government” has been nominated for a BSFA award for best short fiction.

Edd Vick’s latest story, “The Corsair and the Lady” may be found in Talebones #37.

David Kopaska-Merkel’s book of humorous noir fiction based on nursery rhymes, Nursery Rhyme Noir 978-09821068-3-9, is sold at the Genre Mall. Other new books include The zSimian Transcript (Cyberwizard Productions) and Brushfires (Sams Dot Publishing).

Jason Erik Lundberg‘s fiction is forthcoming from Subterranean Magazine and Polyphony 7.

Archive for the ‘Series’ Category

In Human Management

Wednesday, December 15th, 2010

Summer was over.  Ripe melons on the yetrop trees occasionally burst in the sun, scattering dollops of sticky juice across the ground to the pleasure of the ants and flung its feather seeds on the wind.  Pairs of harburt birds flapped lazily over the orchard, in search of cattle that Takashi let amble too far from the stinging reach of his air-pellet gun.  He hated harming life.

Apart from one person, Takashi’s life was idyllic and calm.  While the world toiled in automated towers scratching the upper atmosphere, Takashi absorbed the soft chirr of insects and rustle of tree limbs, watching over cattle grazing.  That one person was his laser-packing boss, Brunhilda, whom he half-admired, half-despised and who stopped by daily to say that the cattle had grazed the wrong pasture, or that he ought to kill the harburts.

Often she wore an invisibility shield to creep up on Takashi and catch him idle.  Although she rarely did, she demanded action on postponed chores:  Prune back the yetrops in the southwest; thin the northwest thickets; cull the nonproductive silk-milk goats wasting resources–a chore he often neglected until she’d done it herself, dinging his life rating to upper management.  He’d never looked at his life rating but suspected he’d fallen to eighty percent of his allotted two hundred years.  He could have knocked some off hers, but it would have hurt him more than her in terms of guilt.

One afternoon, lounging under a yetrop, a ripe melon burst on his head.  Takashi spluttered, wiped the sticky juice stinging his eyes.  Brunhilda stood over him, not smiling.  “You have unfinished work.”

“I’m on break.”

“It’s overdue.  Your dog–”

“Nana.”

“–was to be recycled last week.”

“I put in for a stay.”

“Denied.”

Takashi stood.  “She’s my companion.”

Brunhilda stepped into his space.  “Your companion is deaf, lame, half-blind, not even human.  Help me out here.  I’m trying to get into human management.”

“What do I get?”

“I won’t ding you.”

Takashi glared.  He grabbed the laser out of her holster, briefly pointed it at her, then off to the side.  A harburt squawked and tumbled.  Its companion dove after.

“Great.  How about the dog?”

“Recalculate resource distribution, and get back to me.”

Resource distribution buoyed for the area, allowing Nana’s stay of execution, but she died shortly thereafter.  Takashi took sick leave.  That Brunhilda was displeased about the entire affair was the only comfort Takashi had.

The Wretched

Wednesday, December 15th, 2010

Transmission Log 8074: Tweetie username @4armpuppeteer

O’Brien? Are you out there? Goddamn it, man, first thing happens after I arrive is I get beaten up. #notmyideaofavacation

Seriously, I’m at the meetup point. Reply or DM me ASAP. This place makes my skin itch. #grimeandurbandecayasdermalinfection

I fkn hate only having two arms in this altuniv, but both of them are shooting middle fingers at you right now. #sopissedicouldkickapuppy

You’d better have some whiskey as a peace offering. Christ, I could use a drink. #WeAreTheAggregate

I mean, is it so much to ask that your operatives use — hey wait, I didn’t write that hashtag. #AreYouReceivingCommunication

WTF is happening? O’Brien, zat you? Are you hacking my fkn Tweetie acct? #WeAreTheAggregate #AreYouReceivingCommunication

Um, yes? #CommunicationReceivedAndUnderstood #ContactCommencing #TranslationProtocolsInitiated #NeuralInterlinkTransmittedAsText

What? #ContactDesignateIdentityConfirm #AreYouVahidNabizadeh

How did you get my name? Who the hell is this? #WeAreTheAggregate

And who is The Aggregate? #TheAggregateIsACollectiveHigherDimensionalIntelligenceSeekingSafeHarbour

And what the hell does that mean? #ThatWeAreFleeingABurnedUniverse #OurKindExistsOnlyAsInformation #OurHomeHasBeenDestroyed

You’re shitting me, right? #ColloquialismUnknown #WeRequireCorporealForm #WeSeekSafeHarbour #WillYouHelp

How can I believe any of this? Your hashtag hacking could be an elaborate prank. Why the hell did you pick me anyway? What did I do?

Well? #ScansIndicateTesseractTransference #YouAreNotFromThisAltUniv #NeitherAreWe #ThusProbabilitySuggestsOpennessToAidUs

How could you possibly know I was sent here by the Tesseract Project? #TechnologyIsFullyIntegratedIntoOurselves #WeAreAdvanced #WillYouHelp

Look, I still don’t buy it. Even if you’re truthing me, how could I help? I need aid myself. #ADownloadOfOurMatrixIntoYourCorporealForm

You’d download into me? I don’t like the sound of that one bit. #ButYouWillBeAugmentedNotOverwritten #TheJoiningWillBenefitAll #WillYouHelp

Sorry, anonymous aggregate. Nothing doing. I’m closing this account now. I’ll have to contact O’Brien another way. #YouAreMakingAMistake

Maybe. I do that sometimes. Bye now. #YouCannotEscapeUs #WeCanGoAnywhere #WeAreTheAggregate #NowhereInTheMultiverseIsSafe

#YouWillHelpUs #TheAggregateDemandsAnAnswer #WeAreLegion #WeAreForever #WeWillTakeOnPhysicalForm #WeWillTakeThisAltUnivByForce

#ContactDesignateIdentityVahidNabizadeh #AreYouReceivingCommunication #AreYouReceivingCommunication #AreYouReceivingCommunication

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Creative Commons License

This piece is just one in a 23-part linked narrative called Fragile, which will take a liberal interpretation of the song titles (but not the lyrics) of the masterful Nine Inch Nails double-album The Fragile. To read the other chapters in this series, click on the category “Fragile” below.

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