Plugs

Alex Dally MacFarlane’s story “The Devonshire Arms” is available online at Clarkesworld.

Luc Reid writes about the psychology of habits at The Willpower Engine. His new eBook is Bam! 172 Hellaciously Quick Stories.

Read Rudi’s story “Detail from a Painting by Hieronymus Bosch” at Behind the Wainscot.

David Kopaska-Merkel’s book of humorous noir fiction based on nursery rhymes, Nursery Rhyme Noir 978-09821068-3-9, is sold at the Genre Mall. Other new books include The zSimian Transcript (Cyberwizard Productions) and Brushfires (Sams Dot Publishing).

Evolution/Extinction

by David

Something was trying to crawl out of the pool. Cele turned on the light. The carpet was wet all the way to the couch. A lobefin squeezed its eyes shut against the glare, then opened them again and dragged itself past the TV towards her.

“Urrk,” it croaked, and pushed up on its forelimbs. A low wave ran up behind it from the dark, quiet sea that had replaced the wall. The wave ran under the couch, and presumably was soaked up by the remaining dry part of the carpet.

“Tim,” Cele called over her shoulder, “Fish!”

Her husband came in from the kitchen. “Kelly’s pool’s a bit full. I’ll drive ’em down to the river in the morning.”

“I think they taste good.”

“Cook ’em then.” But Tim was such a good cook anything she made would be a disappointment. She sighed.

“Tell you what. In the morning I’ll drop them off at St. Mark’s, instead. They can cook some coelacanth steaks for the clients and it won’t go to waste.”

Cele smiled and got to her feet. “You are so good to me! I don’t deserve it.” She patted him as he staggered by with the lobefin in his arms.

In the shower she had to shut her eyes. Sunlight shone in from where the ceiling used to be with blinding intensity. Her thoughts drifted to Tim. Immersed in an erotic daydream, Cele took a while to realize she wasn’t imagining her body shaking. Her eyes shot open. The shower stall shook to a heavy beat. It reminded her of that scene in “Jurassic Park;” with the ponderous but swift footsteps of an approaching tyrannosaur. She looked up.

–.

Tim dashed up the stairs. Cele was standing in the hall, shrieking and trembling. He encircled her with his arms and stroked her, making calming noises. Eventually he got her to tell him what was wrong.

“You’re shivering,” he said. “Go put something on. I’ll check the shower.” He opened the bathroom door and strode inside. A few moments later he came back out. “I don’t see any…. Cele?”

A wet area on the carpet marked where she had stood. He hunted all through the apartment and found no more trace of her than that. Unless you count a two-inch placoderm, flopping on the bedroom floor in front of her open closet.

End

Happy 13,000,000,000th

by David

1. Yahweh.
2. Just Me. And the Cat.
3. I’m retired.
4. Worked for 6 kalpas in Fundamental Constant maintenance.
5. Enough to get by.
6. Tea? It’s My special blend.
7. My hobby is gardening. Continua just happen.
8. Once I had to fumigate the entire house with Spacetime Dissipator.
9. An accident.
10. Pot boiled over while I was out weeding firmaments.
11. Bean soup. All fresh ingredients from my Garden. Delicious.
12. Missed a spot when I cleaned up. 13. They expand so quickly in the first few microseconds!
14. Collapse Me! It was only 5 dimensions to start with.
15. Life already?! Don’t that beat all.
16. Last time I looked the first matter was forming.
17. Complex ecosystems, terrestrial organisms, tool use? I’m flabbergasted.
18. I have certainly been remiss.
19. Should have cleaned it up long ago.
20. My only excuse is that I stay out in the Garden until dark.
21. By the time I’ve made dinner, I’m ready to rest.
22. But I really need to clean the stove soon.

End